miii and the universe

menang jadi abu, kalah jadi arang

2009-12-14T18:05:00.000-08:00

mati-matian aku menyerang idealisemu
mati-matian pula aku mencoba menyadarkanmu
dengan kata-kata pedas dan susah untuk dicerna-katamu
karena kau menganggapku orang berpendidikan yang pemikirannya jauh di atasmu

mati-matian pula aku bersabar
mati-matian pula kau mengelak
mengelak dari kata-kata yang kurasa menusuk hatimu
sehingga membuatmu terdiam dengan mata berkaca-kaca seperti akan meluluhkan airmata kesedihan dan kemarahan

aku, masih mati-matian menahan kekecewaan yang terus terpendam
selalu terpendam
mati-matian

finally itu artinya akhirnya

2009-11-22T08:04:00.001-08:00

finally atau akhirnya, saya memutuskan untuk membuat blog saya ini sebagai blog yang multilingual, gak cuma memakai bahasa Indonesia maupun bahasa Inggris karena ternyata Bahasa inggris saya sangat-sangat lemah, terutama grammar. ckck, ironis memang. padahal saya adalah mahasiswa sastra inggris yang diharapkan mampu berbahasa inggris dengan baik dan benar malah ternyata gak bisa apa-apa dan cuma bisa bahasa indonesia. cckckck. I love my national languge and I love my mother tongue. *sihiy!!!*

ngomong-ngomong masalag bahasa, saya mempunya tugas yag cukup rumit nih, mencari bahasa pidgin dan kreole di Indonesia. ya, ini memang kerumitan yang saya bikin sendiri karena pada awalnya sayalah yang mengajukan topik ini kepada dosen saya yang rambutnya sudah beruban itu. tapi gak apalah, walaupun saya orangnya nyantai, tapi semua tugas akan saya kerjakan sebagai bentuk tanggung jawab saya.

baiklah.. selamat malam dan terimakasih bagi yang membaca.

healthy inside fresh outside

2009-09-16T08:45:00.000-07:00

"healthy inside fresh outside"
I can say that this proverb from one of the healthy drink's advertisement is right. today, I got a bad migraine, it is not from outer causes but it came from the inner side. I got a lot of problems and it affect in my physical health.

the best way to avoid physical's sickness is mental health.

laut di pagi hari

2009-09-09T08:01:00.000-07:00

pertemuan antara kematian dan awal yang baru
laut karena dia menyimpan sejuta masa lalu
dan pagi hari, saat yang bisa membuatku berpikir akan masa yang akan datang
dan aku berada di sana
laut di pagi hari

too fundamentalist

2009-09-09T07:06:00.000-07:00

too fundamentalist they said
I don't care and try to not to think about it
but I care
I don't care
but why I become angry?
I don't care
and try to be not care about what they said
I don't care
but still I care

sunny monday

2009-07-26T23:36:00.001-07:00

This is june and the weather is hot. I compare with the weather when i was child 15 years ago, i realize that the weather both now and past are so different. I still remember when i was riding my bicycle on the street near my house, it was a nice weather with a lot of trees beside the street and i felt peacefully. And now when i ride my bicycle i feel uncomfortable due to there are no trees a long the street.

Sometimes i feel so emotional when i saw fields became cafes, forest became copra fields, and people are easily cutting down the trees. Why don't are realize that our life are depend on our environment?

sodom

2009-04-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

I woke up in the morning with shocked feeling following me from my unconscious. I had a bad dream last night. I went to my family’s villa near beach. I, my brother, and my boyfriend are decided fishing in that area. I got such a bad elicitation and the others got the good one. I was so jealous with them. Why they got the best and I got the worst. Fortunately, with that bad elicitation I got big fishes. And then I fished in another place, and I got a strange fish. It looked like “sapu-sapu” fish that I saw in the Ngasem market yesterday. It is yellow with many spots in its skin, and when I looked at it I feel so disgusting.

Then I took that fish in my villa. Suddenly that fish change into a boy as old as my brother. I thought that fish is “siluman” (a human who has taken the appearance of an animal for nefarious purposes) then I go inside the house to tell my parents that I got “siluman fish”. Minutes later, I went outside again then I saw that “siluman” was practicing a doggy style to my brother. It means that my brother got sexual abuse. I was panic and screamed to make my parents go outside. Not ready to see that such a scene then I woke up.

This morning is begun with miserable felling. My brother came to my room, face to face with him; I felt that he is stranger. I don’t know what that dream means. Jung said that dream contains symbols and probably it can be prediction for the future. So what this dream means? Is my brother will be a gay?? Definitely no!

envy in a Shakesperean's era

2009-04-24T07:01:00.000-07:00

Surfing on the internet, I found something made me envy. I am envy with the others ability to make something. I opened my friend's blog and then I wondered why she have such senses of style. Her ability made me feel envy.

I'm also felling envy with my boyfriend's ability to write something. I read his essays then I thought I can write an essay like him. I am wondering why he could write like that although his knowledge as same as have I. Sometimes when I read his essays I felt like I wanna delete all of his essays. I know that is bad thing to do.

Why? Am I too pity to have this kind of feeling? I was so easily feel envy with others. When I felt that way, it could bring me to a never ending madness. So, what is my ability? I think being a copy cater is my ability.

lali puna oh lali puna

2009-04-22T07:42:00.000-07:00

well always be together, forever, so it seems
well always be together, together in electric dreams

-lali puna "together in electric dreams" lyrics

this song always play on my play list over and over. when I woke up, before go to sleep, online, and everytime when I opened my laptop I always play it.

Lali Puna is a Germanic electric indie band. Gosh! they are really awesome. Thanks to mas adit, my senior in campus. He introduced me with Lali Puna a year ago. Now I'm trully falling in love with this band. =)

contact me if you want theirs mp3s

facebook: umi lestari

2009-03-18T03:01:00.000-07:00

Tired i'm tired
sleppy i'm so sleppy
i need a bed rest

new books

2009-03-06T17:03:00.000-08:00

yesterday I went to the new bookstore in Yogyakarta. This bookstore offered cheaper prize rather than in a big bookstore in my town. Although I bought second books, I am very happy because I got an "Psychoanalysis Encyclopedia" volume 5,6 and 9. I bought this book because I've interested in Psychoanalytic theory by Sigmund Freud and its branches. I haven't read one of them yet, but I promise I will read it in my free time (hopefully). My boyfriend said if I read all of those encyclopedias(1-24) maybe I can be a great psychiatrist. It remains me about my dream before I studied in English Letter Sanata Dharma. I had a big dream to be a psychiatrist, but after I studied there I felt I can't reach my dream. And then my friend said I still have an opportunity to be a psychiatrist if after I continue my studying in Master of Psychology (Psikologi S2). still hoping I'll be a psychiatrist.

yesterday I also bought comics/manga. A lot of comics actually. I bought "Here we are", comics that make me sad because its story =)

Because of I bought a lot of books maybe I'll spend my 3 days holiday with reading it. I hope I can finish reading it =)

roam in octave

2009-03-06T16:51:00.000-08:00

"roam in octave" is a song by Spangle Call Lilli Line - Isolation album. This is my favorite song this week. Every time I heard it, I feel living in peacefully world =). for everyone who like SCLL u should have this album =)

so much to do, so little time

2009-02-04T05:49:00.000-08:00

I feel today it's a cold day. I didn't feel warm and I must wear a jacket during the day. But that's not the point. I'm not gonna write about the weather and I'm not gonna write about the jacket, or something related to that. I'm gonna write about what's makes me hate today.

First, there are a lot of assignment from my lectures. Imagine if you always get 3 or 2 assignment per day. I think it's hard for me. I'm not ready to face the problems because the atmosphere holiday in last two weeks still beside me. Truly I'm missing my holiday and I don't want go to school. But I have to do it although I hate it.

second, this afternoon my rabbit died. I feel sad, not because the rabbit but from people's opinions around me. After my mom told me that my rabbit die, she said that why I must raised rabbits and in the end I was just ignored them and not taken care of them. After I told my boyfriend, he said I was not good to take care of them. It's hurt to get those opinions from closed people around you. And the last thing that make me sad because I'm loosing rabbits that given by my boy. I feel that I can't keep my promise to take care of them.

Lastly, I feel so tired today. Studied from 9 am till 3 pm then I must giving lesson at 6pm till 8pm. And now I haven't do my homeworks for tomorrow yet. Such a lazy person am I???

hoahem.. I'm sleepy right now, but I have to do the homeworks first. Hope I can make it on time.

for IT class this semester

2009-02-01T18:43:00.000-08:00

it's been a long time since I wrote my last post. It's because I was lazy and I forgot my username and password. I'm such careless person, am I? so with a hard work to finding my username and password, finally I can find it.
I think I'm gonna like this class because in this class I'm just sit in front of computer and write in my blog. beside that, I can Chat with my friend trough my facebook, altough they are sitting next to me.
my expectation from this class. humm... I hope I'm able to be a cracker. well, it's quite difficult I guess. and I hope I can make a website, because I have a desire to make a website to sell my handmade stuffs. I know I can sell it trough friendster or multiply, but I think it can be more advantages if I can sell it trough my website.
well, that's my post. see you again in the next post.

happy happy im so happy

2008-07-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

finally... I found SPANGLE CALL LILLI LINE mp3s. It's from For Installation album.

And now I'm so tired. I've been sitting in this chair about two hours. My eyes so heavy, and I am so hungry. After write this post, I'll back to my home then I'll watching Wicker Park movie.

HELLO FELLAS!!!

2008-07-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

hello fellas.. this is my first post. Well, this is not my first blog. I have a blog before, but I didn't take care of it because I was so busy. Then I decided to make a new blog which write in English. I make this blog to improve my English. So if u find wrong grammar and misspelling word, please don't hesitate to leave a comment. I really appreciate it.

Lets begin this post with "what am I doing now?". Well, here I am in this narrow box in net cafe, sitting and listening Sarah Blasko while waiting for manga scan download and browsing. Kinda boring huh? This is my activity when I was stuck in my bedroom.

So here I am bored an stuck. Is there anyone can help me how to make my holiday fun??